


Tell me what you see

by smaragdbird



Category: Lost
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-31
Updated: 2009-12-31
Packaged: 2017-10-05 13:15:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smaragdbird/pseuds/smaragdbird
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What Sun didn't understand during Boone's last hours, was that there was so much more for Jack to lose than what meets the eye...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tell me what you see

A doctor, not used to failure and the desperate need to beat death, that was what Sun saw when she helped Jack with Boone. That was also what Charlie and Kate and Michael saw. They weren't wrong, of course they weren't but they were not entirely right either.

When he treated Boone, Jack wasn't only Doctor Sheppard, he was Jack, too.

Jack, who was so desperately afraid to loose Boone that he was irrational. It was not entirely Doctor Sheppard's fault that he fought so hard for Boone's life, it was Jack's fault, too, because loosing Boone wasn't an option for either of them.

'You're not gonna die. I'm gonna fix this. I am going to save you.' Sun didn't know Jack well enough to hear the desperate edge in his voice, the underlying fear. She didn't know, because no one knew, that Jack ha fallen in love with Boone. She thought that he always fought as hard as he did now, maybe too hard, but he didn't, he did it only for Boone.

Boone opened his eyes and spoke and she heard Jack answer but she didn't hear the concern and love and relief in that little 'hey', which was the first thing Jack said to Boone with Boone listening to him.

Sun had helped him with the blood transfusion but she was still concerned at the risk Jack took for his own health in order to save Boone. She thought that it was too much, Jack was their only doctor, they needed him more than they needed Boone. She didn't want Boone to die, but she cold already see that no matter what Jack was doing, he would. She saw the tube through which Jack's blood streamed into Boone's body, she saw Jack's pale, exhausted face but she didn't understand that he did it only so he could once again see Boone's unbelievable blue eyes look at him, clear and filled with awe, love and affection. This look had been his highest reward since the beginning.

'You're not helping him. You can't save him. You just can't!'

'Don't tell me what I can't do!'

She had ripped the tube from Jack's arm, had told him the truth, the rational truth: Boone was dying, Jack had failed and the only thing he should do was to help Boone not to try to conquer death whatever it should take.

She didn't see that Jack needed Boone, needed him as the air in his lungs and the beat of his heart. Jack, who had lost so much in his life, needed Boone because Boone, though he fought with Jack on a regular basis about Jack's decisions, still trusted him to do the right thing, still loved him despite of everything and Jack needed that.

But maybe Sun began to understand a little bit why Jack had done what he had done when she watched from the side the last words between them.

'Wait. Wait.'

'I have to. If I don't…'

'I'm all mashed up inside, you know it.'

'This is our best chance.'

'There is no chance. I mean, look where we are.'

'I'm not gonna get you give up.'

'I know you made a promise. I'm letting you off the hook. Let me go, Jack.'

'I'm sorry.'

'Don't be.'

And as she watched Jack give in, watched him letting Boone die, watched him closing his eyes, she saw what she hadn't seen before.


End file.
